But later, in her senior year, a flashback crystallized what had gone wrong, and she broke down sobbing.
The summer before her senior year, an acquaintance invited her to watch a movie in his dorm room on campus.
He knew he didn’t want to have sex with her, but she was persistent and he didn’t say no.
As things heated up, he said he felt his body sent him a message: He didn’t get an erection.
“I think I was hoping that he would realize that what he did was wrong.”She didn’t report the incident because her mother worried that it would be more stressful to go through that process than to leave it alone.
“I think he thought because we had started, because he had kissed me and I didn’t immediately shove him off and say what the f---, that meant he was entitled to have sex with me or something,” she said.
’ ” he said, and because it was the first place where he was legally old enough to drink, he got much too drunk too quickly.
And if I’m not at that point, then it’s not wanted.”He said it would have been the first time he had sex with someone after breaking up with his high school girlfriend, and he just wasn’t ready for it.
“It would have been a momentous life event, like a new chapter,” he said.
“I didn’t understand what happened until later, maybe a few weeks later, when this person made a comment about wanting to see me again and do what he did before.
It led me to believe we had some sort of sexual contact.”If so, the woman said, it was without her consent; she was incapacitated.“I was in no state of mind” to say yes to sex, she said.“I was like, ‘No, please stop.’ He was like, ‘No, you’ll like it.’ And I was like, ‘No, stop.’ ”“Some people are able to yell or scream, but when I get really stressed out I kind of shut down, so I just sort of disassociated myself and was trying to figure out how to get him off of me,” she said.